For the record:
The high school dropout (dropped out in the last year, can't remember if he GEDed or not) was also afraid of the roommate's soap AND had a bag on every LP he owned, including stuff like "Whipped Cream and Other Delights", making him the red-flagging-est man to date.
It was RC who committed the sin of lumpy milk, which I discovered when preparing my coffee. He also had a carton of good milk in the fridge as well, and claimed the bad milk had just gotten pushed behind other things in his fridge and was then out of sight and out of mind. As RC, uncharacteristically for a bachelor, actually -has- a decent amount of food in his fridge, I'll be charitable and accept this explanation.
So to sum up, gentlemen:
Stay in school, check the milk, buy more forks.