Just me. (lara7) wrote,
Just me.

Do you dare meet the acquaintance of L.L. Eigar?

This is really long. I'm hiding it behind a cut tag, but I urge you to take a peek at it. As far as I can tell, despite being posted to a mailing list in April 1993, it has NEVER been web posted.

I aim to fix that.

If you like kooky ramblings, go here, now. Thanks are in order to the lovely Alekz for typing all this in almost a decade ago, and for having the foresight to preserve (or pilfer) it in the first place.

Date:        Mon, 5 Apr 1993 08:43:59 -0400
From:         Alekz
Subject:      L.L. Eiger

for both education's and amusement's sake, i've decided to "reprint" an old book i found when cleaning up... don't worry, it's just a small press chapbook, and i'll bet at least some of you will find it either informative or funny... to me, it's some of the most bizarre and inspired writing that i've ever seen.
a little background... these are actual letters written by one L.L. Eiger {also known as Mrs. Betty Lou Seeley}... she is/was a strange large German woman who would come into the copy shop where i worked during this time frame and rent our typewriters... she usually made her own copies of her correspondance, so the letters we managed to pilfer were few and far
between... but what a rush if you actually got to wait on her -and- manage to steal a piece of her world.
a final note... if you care either way about whether or not i continue to post these (i'll never post more than a letter a day, and there's maybe 10 letters in all) please let me know by private mail, and i will act accordingly...


International Court of Justice
Peace Palace
2517 KJ The Hague

[no date -- ~4 May, 1989]

Honorable Judge of World Domestic Court:

Please add this letter as an addition to my letter of March 31, 1989 mailed to you on Reg. No. R 584-725-591, April 3, 1989 from Baltimore 'Main Post Office' by Miss L.L. Eiger.

        a.  Ears, called here pillow cases, total removal and finalized with vanilla, plugs removed by Arab Eel, April 19, 1989.

        b.  Heart Pond removed for third time in life on April 18, 1989 with strings, marbles and bulger.

        c.  Colon, April 21, 1989, total again for second time in life; father, son and holy ghost (liquid, strings and marbles removed, applied vanilla heavy to tea and honey taken previous months (20 lbs.).

        d.  Manhood, April 21, 1989, removed after corals and crust taken off from bottom-vanilla extract (pure) and verbaled rot slim.

        e.  My bibb lettuce on womb being removed by lizards after intake of vanilla for a full month, very strong odor.

        f.  Iron posion [poison] _long_disc_ removed from heart March 31, 1989, has given me no basic problems (a squirrel) and bromoseltzer created an awfully lot of hard candy sticks for my wild squirrels, pets, to pull out, which they have from heart and it sounds like a new motor (tea
and honey prior intake for 9 months).  Remaining posion [poison] tributaries removed by my error some two days later?  Also, two iron posion [poison] ponds on bottom hips verbaled out, April 26, 1989.

        g.  My neck in back on shoulders and nape cleared until it blew into chest cavity.  I'm after broken health all these years with split back from rib cage and all the help of man, etc.

        h.  Fist in eye from Uncle Sam, April 16, 1989, broke my cheek bone and created massive bruised flesh with liver iron showing until today, May 4, 1989?  Had a picture taken for claim and for some reason a hard lump still remains on cheek bone--bruise turned yellow.

        i.  CUP of LIFE and Pond on NOSTRADAMUS, April 24, 1989, removed strings, marbles and bulger as usual.

        j.  Ink removed through top of head again this year for summer months, April 29, 1989.

        k.  Bear Claws (4) removed May 2, 1989 from back with clearance through Island Volcano with bear and white bull seal roars.  This was removed during 1957 to same point for Presidential Potentials and Ex's alum, (5 cups), also 1980.

        l.  Neck, throat cleared after a full months effort with vanilla and verbaling.  Ratcoon [raccoon] pulled out all hards created by bromoseltzer with my wild squirrels.  Removing hard balls on center throat tubes at this time.

        m.  Head brain and all a total clearance at this time.

        n.  All Old Age removed from spine and acid burns eatten out by ratcoon [raccoon] at base and several up the spinal column, he is very thorough more so than my squirrels.

        o.  Broken health tube in right leg removed when hard plug was taken out, also chains on throat, bars on back Bitter Sweet and tubes on ribs.  Maybe now I can find energy to complete all expected of me by the US State Dept. Washington, D.C.
Date:         Tue, 6 Apr 1993 10:32:05 -0400
From:         Alekz
Subject:      further adv of L.L. Eiger

ok, i've only gotten positive responses about continuing to post this, so here goes...

onto more tales:
[still to the Interntl Court of Justice, Netherlands]

SECOND ENTRY                                    May 8, 1989

Hopefully, this will be enough for me to gain my five (5) cloned babies of August 1985, from Delaware State Hospital, Head Authority, for my pattern _of_life_, since a house will be required and my ten acres for food will be allotted as a stated by legal law, Honorable Judge Henry Shaw, of Delaware County, Delaware, OHIO.  My claim on the ten (10) acres took place in 1944 at Harlem High School, Center Village, Ohio, by authority Mr. DeLong principal and Mrs. Elward Caldwell, of Westerville, OHIO, my English teacher for taxes to cover school expenses.  I graduated from Westerville, OHIO, in Class of 1949.

        p.  Removed large plus from back of right shoulder Gland to generate their function, also, bottom plug.

Would appreciate you interest for my return to Copenhage, Denmark, where I have one of my working career checks going into Andelsbanken to be be waiting on me when I arrive by plane.  Will send a 40' [foot] container to PRT MANAGER's OFC. where ship Maersk Line, enters for legal hold and security just as my Passports and VISA's are arranged for and received.

Shall be typing Supreme Court Report for Industrial Act Ledger removal and collection of values created such as my new Ford Van in navy blue from Baptist Church Parsonage, Cleaveland, Ohio, created in late 1980 with doctors paperwork for authority, my car is on a HOLD ledger and I require it at this time seriously.  Would your office be able to gain the car Van ahead of time?

        q.  My efforts to be thorough has casused me to drink 4 oz. of Pure VANILLA.

        r.  Egyption Collar-crystalized with bromoseltzer and verbally removed into chest for closing issue again, May 6, 1989.

        s.  BULGERS on Bitter Sweet bavk and "T" cross (back), and diareary Iceland "Ice Cream Cones" total removal on second attempt, May 5, 1989.

        t.  Romoved BULGERS form "Manhood" for final, May 8, 1989, third and final removal in my lifetime.

        u.  NO LONGER CAN EAT DRIED BEANS, May 2, 1989.


                                Miss Laura Levga Eigar (Miss B. L. Seeley)

Copies:                         Social Security No. 74-28-7123A
1. Dir. Geo. P. Schultz,        Civil Service Annunity 1 085-712 (lawsuit by
   US. State Dept.                  Attny. Steven J. Takacs, Cambridge, OHIO
2. Judge, Richard B. Metcalf
   Probate Court, Columbus, OHIO
3. United Nations Center, Wash., D.C.  20006
4. President Ronald R. REAGAN, USA, Industrial Act Ledger file Tilharer,
   Nov. 19, 1930
5. Judge, Henry Shaw,
   Delaware County Court House
   Delaware, OHIO

Date:         Wed, 7 Apr 1993 08:22:18 -0400
From:         Alekz
Subject:      LL Eiger -- 3rd entry

another installment for the growing number of Eiger addicts.  or i guess i'm spelling it wrong and it's Eigar.  forgive me....

anyhow, i am a lousy typist, and although Miss LL Eigar's writing style does lend itself to strange misspellings, some of the error's could be my own, although certainly some are her own flair.

as to Miss Eigar's sanity... i'm not sure if she just lives in a seperate reality, or perhaps she's a secret agent and this is all somehow CODE.  i suspect this could be the case somewhere between the squirrels, bulgers, and dried beans.

perhaps, in our lives, we will all be lucky enough to meet Miss LL Eigar (AKA Miss Betty Lou Seeley) or at least be lucky enough to meet one of her five (5) cloned babies.


[still to Intl Court of Justice, Netherlands]

THIRD ENTRY                                             May 16, 1989

        v.  Removed six (6) ponds on spine area and all bulgers, leafed out all.  May 8, 1989.

        w.  Have carried wild squirrels all my life and giving them the go ahead on bulgers was a mistake, they continuted on the calcium tubes and home plate until I was stretched out for days.  I've over extended for a complete all.

        x.  May 10th, 1989, roofing and finishing nails removed with all hairs created from ponds and the almighty baseball from chest.

        y.  My presidential gained me a star of bethlehem which I've removed and cleared my fan again with three instead of five, May 11, 1989.

        z.  Cleared all Dane verbal and leafed out all remaining marbles on back today, May 16, 1989.

        The BALL GAME is totally over with and in reality was in May 1955 on completion of Presidential Potentials and Ex-President Harrison's ALUM clean-up to return to civilian life and again in May 1973 on Gov't. Five Count which was later determined by two (2) Souther District Court Judges of 85 Marconi Blvd., Columbus, Ohil 43215, with three (3) Federal Doctors on a great deal of paperwork for Industrial Act Ledger, Washington, D.C. stating my physical condidtion was acclaimed a total LOSS, signed dated and Federal Stamp.

        Removed generation glands three (3) and family tree from back of head for disease during 1988 for the many many times.

        LOST MY YOUTH GLAND MARCH 14, 1988 while starying at Grandview Trailor Park in an US Army trailor, in Dover, Delaware.  They wear masks over here a great deal.

        The above is my second complete removad down to hairs and inability to eat cooked dry deans due to sever health in summer 1956 at foster family Lester Earl Seeley farm when my trip into Denver, Colorado for health failed during 1955.  My stay in Denver, Colorado was at the Y.W.C.A.  You should find this entered on Dr. M.W. Livingston's records of Sunbury, Ohio, our area doctor or at  best U.S. Army, Old Depot, James Road and East Broad ST., Columbus, Ohio.

BEST the Rainbow and Pot of Gold has also been removed May 15, 1989. Bromoseltzer.


                        Miss L.L. Eigar (Miss Betty Lou Seeley)
                        Social Security 74-28-7123A

                        (I'm after Baptist Church Convention in Grandville,
                         Ohio to apply their STAMP and letter to Supreme
                         Court for final.)
Date:         Thu, 8 Apr 1993 08:28:57 -0400
From:         Alekz
Subject:      a *new* LL Eigar

let's hit it -- shall we?

                                May 17,1989

Honorable Judge Black
Southern District Court of Ohio
United States District Court
85 Marconi Blvd.
Columbus, Ohio  43215

Honorable Judge Black:

        My efforts to return to N. Europe as an ALIEN in your United States of America creates this inquiry concerning my legal position on the East Coast through authority of the U.S. Army out of Washington, C.C. during my stay in Cleveland, Ohio during 1980, when ordered for security to person the leave of State of Ohio for E. Coast to wait out my added time of fifteen years.  Should my person be at another processing point or area such as Chicago, Illinois due to purchase of reclaim farm in that area?

        My letter to: The Ohio Baptist Convention, Box 376, Granville, Ohio 43023. for the STAMP of RELEASE and approval to return to Copenhagen, Denmark, has gone out as directed by the Hillcrest Baptist Church, 2480 W. Broad Street, Columbus, Ohio under Rev. Francis Hitch.

        Also, my second master clean-up, May 1989, beyond intake of dried beans (navy beans, etc.) has been completed with total removal beneath heart area (atchd. copy to Netherlands Court).  Original for health was during summer 1956 on completion of Presidential Potential and
Ex-President Alum clean-up to Harrison.

        I claim my own HORSE POWER, mode of travel as a FORD and cloned to gland blonds (5) delivered August 1985 at Delaware State Hospital, New Castle, Delaware for Pattern of Life.  It was at this time a lethal tube of acid from the Uncle Sam unit created problems on a clean-up.  Their was a baby taken earlier a little girl soposedly given me by the boys that created my three day stay there for so much damage.  (My resent CLOROX application has removed a staggering amount of Mono-cancers.)

        The Clerks Office could forward me a reply in letter form to the following:

                Miss L.L. Eigar (Miss Betty Lou Seeley)
                P.O. Box
                Baltimore, Maryland

                Social Security No. 74-28-7123A
                CSA-1 085-712 (funds transfered to Denmark)

If i should be in the wrong area or their is any change I should make please let me know to comply.

        My hip sockets removed by Dr. R.C. Coleman of Riverside Methodist Hospital around 1975 has been replaced by the F.B.I. doctor at least four (4) times here on the East Coast and I require it done again now.  Ask him on my second MASTER clean-up to replace them with bone for Iceland, twenty tree size.  They are creating cancer-no iron sockets.  (Area doctor M.W.
Livingston, M.D. of Sunbury, Ohio.)

2 Encls.                        Cordially,

                                Miss Laura L. Eigar (Miss Betty Lou Seeley)
                                        May 17, 1989

Date:         Fri, 9 Apr 1993 09:23:54 -0400
From:         Alekz
Subject:      LL Eigar installment 5

there is (unfortunately) only one more Eigar installment after this one, unless i can somehow dig up more....which i doubt.

i do have a 7th entry, which is a letter TO our hero Laura Levga Eigar (Miss Betty Lou Seeley) from the International Court of Justice, Netherlands, which i will type in as well...

enjoy whilst you can...alekz

The Ohio Baptist Convention
Box 376
Granville, Ohio 43023

Dear Director:

        I originated from Westerville High School, Class of 1949, and entered Columbus, Ohio with friends of the foster family Seeley's.  My stay with them was short and when Mrs. Jasper Jester of 87 So. Ogden Avenue had a vacancy in early 1950 I moved into her home of six (6) girls and remained with her for six (6) years.  Hilcrest Baptist Church, 2480 W. Broad Street, Columbus, Ohio, was near by and an aquaintance with Alice Miller a strong member and choir supporter got me interested to the point of becoming a member after some time had laptsed.  The periode of time also involved by "Presidential Potential and Ex-Present" package of ten
(10) years from family, 1944 - 1954.  What I'm stating is _all_ my time in your country was completed in May 1973 with the Gov't. Five Count by AREA doctor M.W. Livingston, M.D. of Sunbury, Ohio and my assignment to Cambridge, Ohio hills on their books should show alien Tilharer, November 19, 1930, by Dr. J.E. Patton of Cambridge, Ohio and also the Industrial
Act Ledger in Washington, D.C.  During 1973 two District Judges from the Southern District of Ohio, United States District Court, 85 Marconi Blvd., Columbus, Ohio with three (3) Federal doctors examined my damages, etc. and proclaimed my _physical_ fitness a _total_loss_.  A list of papers were filled out and signed with their heavy stamp of authority and sent into my Industrial Act Ledger file to wait the Supreme Court Judge for final release authority.  However, my family gave me ten (10) extra years because I would not turn half over to the Queen of England or sign off on my Bonds and Notes, monies made abroad.  On completion of ten (10) years the Pope of Rome gave me the final five more years allowed by the Laws of Man.  Now I can return to Copenhagen, Denmark to my hotel "Scandinavian" and locate a source of ten acres for house and food in Europe fat fifty-eight (58) years on completion of a 2nd Master Clean-up for hopeful returned health and your STAMP of RELEASE and approval by the church to process out at last with the Supreme Court, 1 First Street, N.E., Washington, D.C.  20543, telephone (202) 252-3000 where I took my Industrial_Act_Ledger_Report_to_Supreme_Court_ in hand writing and received the Rules of the Supreme Court of the United States, June 30,
1980 telling me to type it in double spacing.

        My title was gotten in 1952 by District Judge Black in Columbus, Ohio and signed by the Queen of England.  My change of name was gotten through Probate Judge Richard B. Metcalf and second given name was picked up at Bank-One then City Nat'l Bank and Trust Co., 30 N. State Street, Westerville, Ohio on a car loan with a Life Insurance Policy No. 34550 on Account 43-222-6, June 1978.  Now with a Master clean-up again I'm rather sure the name will be classified as legal, however, the name of Seeley was carried over 25 years and would carry any legal problems.  I should be into Ohio before this month is over but any papers you should want signed or pattern to follow please let me know at the following address:

                Miss Laura L. Eigar (Seeley)
                P.O. Box
                Baltimore, MD

        Rev. Francis Hitch of the Hillcrest Baptist Church of Columbus, Ohio gave me a "Letter of Dismission", dated Feb. 18, 1970 in name Miss Betty Lou Seeley and i earned_a_car_in_1980_ through the Baptist Parsonage, Cleveland, Ohio.  Due to threats of damage I placed the CAR on the HOLD Ledger where the records are kept and before it is gone CLAIM the Ford Van in Navy paint with an additional $3,000.00 offered to cover a better car.  Would you see what has happened and forward the information to Rev. Francis Hitch for my visit on how to obtain the needed car.  (Not everything went well when the U.S. Army forwarded me to the E. coast in 1981.)

        Please follow through on the "Release" STAMP for processing out to return to North Europe.  My _Youth_Gland_ was removed last March 1988 while living in Dover, Delaware and various other losses have created heavy damages after Polar Capping my organs for the first time for face restore, Icelander, in July 1988.
Date:         Mon, 12 Apr 1993 07:44:38 -0400
Reply-To:     Alekz
Subject:      LL Eigar Letters -- 6th attc.

this is the last letter i currently have in my possession.  tomomorow's installment will have the one return letter to her that i have...


The Ohio Baptist Convention                     May 17, 1989

        My efforts to remove the St. Aloysius Church from my door due to foster mother Juanita Mae Seeley (English) of Derwent, Ohio (Cambridge area) created this lawsuit posting at Souther District of Ohio, United States District Court, CLERKS Office in August 12, 1980, prior to my month vacation in Norway during September 1980, on C2-80-684 (copy atched.) and when processed was told it should be posted in "Court of Appeals," Cincinnati, Ohio where entered on the books on request by self for ten years.  My foster mom illegally received a seven thousand dollars ($7,000.00) in check form from an Irish representative of the Catholic
Church and posted it to her account in Sunbury, Ohio.  She's been dead since 1984, son Jerry Malone Seeley, Big Walnut Road, Westerville, Ohio.

        Also, due to sever condition, seven organs missing since 1955, etc.  I gained my "Letter of Dismission" from the Baptist Church in an effort to create health.  My second trip to N. Europe was the entry into Scandinavia through the Port of the Mermaid, Copenhagen, Denmark in March 1984. lasted three and one half months.

**      Charles of England has given me his titled nose twice and my train went through Aberdeen, Maryland in 1984.  I'm wanting destination point Copenhagen, Denmark for what household items after all these years and five cloned to gland boys and girls (ring on heart, the usual) birthdays August 1985, to return with me to my aurora.

        I can no longer eat dried beans (navy beans, etc.) What is federal law on this?  besides being an alien and time expired January 1989?  My two MASTER Clean-ups are summer of 1956 and currently May 1989 with total removal of all in tissue beneath heart area, very tender already, my age fifty-eight seems old to have put life together for what might remain.


                                Miss Laura L. Eigar (Miss Betty Lou Seeley)
                                Social Security No. 74-28-7123A
                                CSA-1 085-712 (This Monthly income has been
                                        transferred to Andelsbanken, Europe)
                                May 17, 1989
Date:         Thu, 15 Apr 1993 08:48:41 -0400
From:         Alekz
Subject:      letter *to* LL Eigar

sorry about the delay in sending this...i'll have you all know that i've been reprimanded by a few list members...

as previously stated, this is the last Eigar thing that i currently have... it's written by the International Court of Justice...i'll even attempt to duplicate their stationary...

the suberb thing about the return letter, is that it [in a way] makes even LESS sense than any of her letters did...


{addresses omitted, type is too small, the photocopy is bad,etc etc.}

                                                        20 April 1989

                                                      {large stamp reading
                                                      "POUCH" placed here}

Dear Madam,

        I have received your letter dated 31 March 1989.

        In reply, I regret to inform you that, by virtue of Article 34 of the Statute of the International Court of Justice, "only States may be parties in cases before the Court", and that only international organizations authorized within the meaning of Article 65 may request
advisory opinions before the court.

        It follows that neither the Court nor its Memebers may consider applications from private individuals or groups, provide them with legal advice, or assist them in their relations with the authorities of any country.

        That being so, you will, I am sure, understand that no action can be taken on your letter.

        The document enclosed with your letter is returned herewith.

                                        Yours faithfully,

                                        Eduardo Valencia-Ospina

Miss L.L. Eigar
P.O. Box 228-26
Baltimore, MD 21230
United States of America

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