"Like you'd won a special little television set from the Brilla pasta company, but all you could get was the dead rat channel."
And as a follow up to the Starr familystory, I'd like to share one of the covers (this one's from 1985) of the Apple computing books in the batch:
This is the gayest illustration I've ever seen on a tech book. All this guy needs to be more gay is a Tom of Finland poster in the background. If the ring, mustache and polo shirt combo isn't enough, check out the (sun?)glasses on top of his head.