|On the death of Vaclav Havel
||[Dec. 19th, 2011|01:18 am]
Czech president Vaclav Havel was indirectly responsible for me getting into a romantic relationship that would last over 3 years and would result in cohabitation and a sorta marriage proposal. This was back in 1989 or 1990, and the relationship broke up around 1993 due to the usual post-college growing apart.
I thought about this time in my life when I heard Havel had died, and then Alex, the guy I'm talking about in the above paragraph, posted a FB link to something he wrote in January 2008 about Havel that also touches upon the circumstances of our getting together:
Alex's writing has improved greatly since he wrote this, and now he's kinda a big deal in the music crit world. I continue to be unfamous, so it's a bit weird to read the above and think OH JEEZ THAT'S ME HE'S TALKING ABOUT. His recollections are accurate and not unflattering to me, but still it's weird to read something about yourself where even if you aren't named, you know it's you. For the record, I am the gal who smoked (briefly, it was a college thing) and loved Joy Division. I am NOT the actress who loved the Doors.
FB tells me Alex and I became FB friends in March 2009, so at the time he wrote the above, we probably hadn't corresponded in at least 5 years. We had been LJ friends at some point in the early 2000s, but I think he unfriended me when I said something churlish about children running wild at doctor's offices, and as a new father he had no need to hear the grousing of child-free cynics. I'm sure he's smart enough to know that even though I'd never see that in 2008, there was a good chance I'd see it one day, so keep it vague, non libelous, and allow plausible deniablity for the persons involved if needed.
So it's weird to read that, but a good weird, not a bad weird. In the last decade, most of the time I've been written about by friends is in blogs they know I'll read within a few days of their posts, so those posts are likely not as honest as Alex's trip down memory lane from 2008.
I actually saw Alex briefly at his workplace last month when I visited my hometown. He's got a book coming out in a few months from a reputable academic press, has a steady job at the university and seems to have all the pieces of the puzzle in place (good job, good marriage, good kid, good hobby that provides some level of artistic satisfaction). At the time I was unemployed and feeling angsty, so while I was happy for him, I was a wee bit jealous that someone who was a parent had a more carefree-seeming life than me, newlywed Burner in the big city.
One of the things that visiting your hometown always yields is weird nostalgia. Seeing Alex's Havel article today after seeing Alex last month for the first time in 10+ years really brought out all the changes I've experienced in the last decade. Though I'm pretty sure I still have one Joy Division poster in that roll that I haven't unfurled in 5 years.