Just me. (lara7) wrote,
Just me.

your time management problem should not be my problem

I have a friend, let's call her Alice because I don't know anyone named that. Alice Is often late to stuff to the point where her friends joke about "Alice time". I picked Alice up from the airport (at 11pm on a weekday) recently, and I was on time, so I've already done Alice a favor this week that inconvenienced me. We made plans to hang out on Saturday and have lunch.

I phone Alice around 10: 30 am on Saturday to see if lunch is still a go. She says she has some computer stuff she absolutely has to do that morning, so no lunch until 1 pm. I say okay. I do not eat breakfast (aside from a cup of coffee) since I am anticipating lunch out.

at 1:30 Alice calls and says she's running late and that her computer stuff is taking longer than she thought. she needs another half hour, then it will take another half hour for her to get here to North Seattle by bike. I say, okay, so 2:30, and eat a granola bar to fix my blood sugar.

Saturday is a beautiful day, and I'm sitting inside waiting for Alice since I'm still on crutches and don't want to wear myself out by hobbling around the yard. I start browsing Facebook and am annoyed to see that while Alice has not posted a status update, she has apparently "liked" a local band while ostensibly doing important computer work. While I dick around on FB as much as the next person, I am irritated that Alice has spent precious Lara-waiting hours on frivolous FB crap.

at 3 pm, I figure that under "alice time" she'll be here any moment. I'm hesitant to phone since I know she's biking. At 3:45 pm, I am livid and call Alice, only to find that "the computer stuff took longer than I thought" and "The day just kind of got away from me" and that she has left her house but is still in her neighborhood running an errand (that was not mentioned in the original timetable). I tell Alice that I'm hungry, angry, and not willing to wait another half hour for lunch at 4:15 and to just forget it, and that I am mad at her. She apologizes in a way that does not make me feel like she is sincere.

I leave the house and try to salvage my day, but I am so angry I am not successful. When I get home and read FB, I see that Alice had POSTED TO THE WALL OF HER CAT'S ACCOUNT (which Alice also runs) at around 3 pm, when she was already a half hour late from the SECOND postponement she gave me. The important computer stuff she had to do apparently means that every half hour she's reading her FB friends list and "liking" bands they like, and killing time posting to something that is basically her own wall since I really doubt what she posted will impact her cat's weekend plans.

If a date kept me waiting almost 3 hours, I'd strongly consider a kick to the groin and never hanging out again unless I got a groveling apology. I'd be more willing to forgive "alice time" if I hadn't seen evidence that Alice was shirking work to do inane FB crap....twice in a day. Alice has been late before (and has canceled in a reasonable time frame if she was too busy to get somewhere beyond a reasonable delay) but it has never been this blatant, this bad, or so humiliating (I was too busy posting to my CAT'S WALL to consider the impact my lateness would have on your schedule).

When he returns from his afternoon outings, Paul mentions that I am bad about holding grudges. I feel like the grudges I still nurse are ones where a terrible injustice has been done to me with no attempt at reparations, and thus, are mostly justified. We will see where this one falls. I suspect Alice would not see the connection between "dicking around on FB to avoid important work" (which we've all done) and "getting caught dicking around on FB when you're 2 hours late to meet a real life friend" and why one is so much more egregious than the other.
Tags: asshattery

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