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scam of the day: [Oct. 5th, 2007|01:43 pm]
Just me.
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Notice - March 8, 2007 - The Federal Citizen Information Center has learned that a company is using the information in our Managing Household Records Consumer Focus article as a reason for purchasing a certified deed from them. You do not have to use a private company to obtain a certified copy of the deed to your home, and in many states you can obtain one from your local Register of Deeds free or at a low cost. The information in this article is not an endorsement of any company selling products such as these.

So I got a letter from one of these private companies that trolls the public records for home sales- they want $69.50 for this "service". King County's fees for this same service, according to the KC webpage, are:

Certified Copies, first page $3.00(per copy)
Each Additional Page $1.00(per copy)

I'm not sure how many pages the Certified Deed is supposed to be (my notorized "Statutory Warranty Deed" that has the same recording date cited in the letter from these vultures is only a page long), but even if the Certified copy is 10 pages, this company is making a killing if anyone's dumb enough to go for it.

The important thing and the reason I post this; they sent me a postage paid envelope for my order, to make it that much easier to send them my $69.50. I'm not going to send them $69.50. What should I send these people instead (anonymously, of course)?

Poll #1066640 yeah, I'll certify a deed for you....

What should I send the predatory deed people in their postage paid envelope?

a cat turd
a used tampon
a used condom
a chunk of concrete (tape envelope around chunk, throw in public mailbox)
coffee grounds
expired medication
a Chick tract or other religious propaganda
other (pls comment)

I'm not sure if the concrete trick still works; the rumor is that the PO will deliver it AND charge them the overage on the extra weight, so that's the most appealing revenge, if it works. I realize after typing options 2 and 3 that it'd be unwise to send anything with DNA samples in case they decide to complain to the cops that someone is threating them, so amend those choices to "tampon doctored with red wine vinegar/chutney combo" and "condom doctored with mayonnaise".

[User Picture]From: ltmurnau
2007-10-05 04:57 pm (UTC)
Metal shavings or iron filings. When they open the envelope the stuff will get everywhere, hopefully into a computer keyboard.

Failing that, any kind of "anonymous white powder" will do. (Do not include a note saying "this could have been anthrax" because that would be classified as Uttering a Threat.)
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[User Picture]From: rimrunner
2007-10-05 05:01 pm (UTC)
Richard Feynman's first wife sent him an envelope of powdered Pepto-Bismol while he was working at Los Alamos, because it would annoy the censors.

I wonder if they still make it in powdered form. It'd be fun to send because it's pink.
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[User Picture]From: ltmurnau
2007-10-05 05:09 pm (UTC)
I remember that story!
Though I don't think it comes in a powder anymore, you would have to crush up tablets.
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[User Picture]From: rimrunner
2007-10-05 05:34 pm (UTC)
Or you could use powdered Kool-Aid. Or Tang!
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: lara7
2007-10-05 07:50 pm (UTC)

I thought it might be the case...

yeah, I figured the PO had wised up to that- last I heard of it was in the mid 80s, with phonebooks.

I notice you didn't vote- do you disapprove of fucking with people that are merely acting within the rules of free-market capitalism? :-) I thought of adding a "don't mess with the asshats" poll option, but alas, too late.
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From: stabbycat
2007-10-05 05:41 pm (UTC)
Powdered asafoetida. That will stink up their office for a while.
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[User Picture]From: haineux
2007-10-05 08:49 pm (UTC)
Information is the best revenge. It's legal, it's unlikely to get you arrested or marked as a terrorist, and it's even harder to get rid of than stinky powder.

I suggest sending GOATSE, TUBGIRL, and BREAST RASH.

Yeah, a picture of breast rash with a postit covering the horrifying bits. That way they'll spend weeks remembering that they HAD to go and PEEL IT OFF to see.
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[User Picture]From: lara7
2007-10-06 12:17 pm (UTC)

I almost hate to ask:

I know Goatse and Tubgirl. I do not know Breast rash. will google serve up the goods, or just give me webmd type info?

I guess I'm asking for a URL. eek.
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[User Picture]From: haineux
2007-10-06 02:11 pm (UTC)

Re: I almost hate to ask:

I'm sorry to reply, but

It was a picture that was made as a somethingawful photoshop attack.

It's NOT REAL. It's a mix of a lotus seed pod and some naked flesh.

Hopefully this will spare you some of the nightmares I had

"breast rash snopes" ==> http://www.snopes.com/photos/rash.asp

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[User Picture]From: lara7
2007-10-06 04:42 pm (UTC)

Re: I almost hate to ask:


Even knowing it was fake didn't help. But I asked for it, so, er, thanks.
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