Just me. (lara7) wrote,
Just me.

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Sometimes, the abyss stalks back

Since I've been home, I've been hanging out with some people I know from high school. Our school was one of those pesky "gifted student" kinda places, which means that you should reasonably expect most of us to be, if not rocket scientists, at least college graduates and perhaps, just perhaps, people that did/do something interesting with their lives. But if you've lost touch with most of these folks, or just wanna see if your valedictorian works a crap job, it's time for-Cyber-Stalking!

My friend E had told me about classmates.com, which requires you to register to see data about your classmates, but posting a bio is optional. While I got very little data (everyone wants to read what others are up to without sharing their own bios, I guess), I did get an idea of who out there has email and curiousity about their classmates. and maybe a web prescence? you never know until you look.

Case #1
"TW" was the coolest guy at my school, although he probably didn't know it. His older brother had gotten him into punk rock at a young age, and he had the best musical taste of any of his peers. He played guitar, he wore thrifted clothes and homemade screenprinted shirts,and he had a wicked sense of humor. He was sorta shy around girls (like many of the denizens of my school, he didn't date or have girlfriends, as far as I could tell). He was a little too pale and thin to be considered cute but I admired him nonetheless.

The best thing TW ever did was to start his own fanclub. You had to be a girl to join, and members got a newsletter/zine that he wrote that was pretty funny. Yes, it was meant to be an ironic gesture; TW would never think that dozens of girls were after him, although in a perfect world, they would have been. TW was Lloyd Dobbler, only scrawnier.

And where is he today? In a large city, in a rock band. They have a web page, and there's TW with a Flying V, and he's no longer scrawny. Hard to tell from the pic, but he might even be sorta buff and cute. And what kind of music does his band play, you ask?

Christian Rock. My hero went and got Jesus. Bleh.

Case #2
"AB" and I were friends in high school for the first couple years, drifted apart. I heard she's a lesbian now, and her name is so unusual that any web search hits that come up have gotta be her. I do find a few mentions of her in her local paper: something about a softball game (go figure!), some neighborhood zoning battle, and then...her full name in someone's Weblog/homepage diary type thingy. This got weird real fast.

This Blog I find starts out with a cartoon that appeared in my college paper a decade ago. I don't remember the specific strip when I see it, but the artist and I were good friends in college. She went on to become somewhat well known as a Comix artist under her married name. this blog mentions The Artist (We'll call her "TA") and notes that the strip is posted without permission, but TA wouldn't care anyway and the blogger has no idea whatever happened to TA and where she is now.

Next paragraph mentions AB, more in a "I thought about my friend AB in relation to something I'm going through" way. I find it odd that the blogger has used AB's full name in this very personal blog. I also find it odd that the blogger is a friend of AB and knows the early work of TA. I mean, I know both these people; might I know the blogger?

And the NEXT paragraph mentions a -third- friend of mine from college (KP), who knew TA but not AB. I'm thinking, whoever wrote this, despite having a lack of manners and using people's real full names in diary entries, has GOT to be someone I knew.

I search around the Blog, but there doesn't seem to be any clues other than a username (the name of a flower) and a copyright statement that says "copyright the Author 19xx-2001". Searching around the rest of the site, I finally find the "About me" part.

To make a long story short, the author is a guy I (and AB) went to high school with. His name isn't on the site, but I can tell by his pictures. Even though the pictures are of him in leggings, a skirt, a waist cincher, makeup, and a stuffed bra, I know when I see it that it's him.

Almost anyone else I went to school with, it wouldn't have surprised me that they were gender dysphoric and now spent a lot of time thinking about gender issues and had online pics of themselves in lycra bodysuits. But this guy (I'll call him Mystery Girl (MG), after the NY Dolls song "Who are the Mystery Girls"?) was more or less:
1) a genius who we all thought would become a rocket scientist.
2) a Renaissance man of geekery (well read, good writer, math geek, artist, etc).
3) practically asexual/without a libido. Just ask his college girlfriend, who eventually (3 years later, I think) tired of his repeated excuses for not touching her and soon after married someone else.

MG went from being a guy who seemingly never thought about sex (or never acted on it) to having a very soul-searching online page about his gender issues. I don't think we'd (my aforementioned high school buddies that I'm hanging out with while I'm here) be as shocked if we'd had any inkling that this was who he was. Everyone else who came out as G/L/B in the years after HS or college was a matter of "Oh yeah, that makes sense", but this was totally out of left field. Well, okay, he dressed up for Rocky Horror fairly often, but so did other people I know, and none of them seem to have had any lurking gender role transformations. So I don't think that's really an indicator.

MG, I salute you and hope you're doing well. Even if seeing that pic of you where your breasts are bigger than mine kinda took me by surprise.

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