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Duh revelation of the week: - The inexplicable charisma of the rival [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Duh revelation of the week: [Jan. 4th, 2006|02:37 am]
Just me.
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[mood |I am Jack's assembly diagrams]

Assembling Ikea furniture is probably best done when fully awake and alert, and not after returning from work and the gym after 11pm.

Now that I'm done, there's part of the diagram that still confounds me. It's on the first page, and after the Ikea Blob Guy has the word balloon where he's saying "Flat Head Screwdriver! Philips Screwdriver! Assemble! Assemble! OK!"*, there's a drawing of Ikea Blob Guy frowning on his knees with a rectangle with a cracked corner in front of him, and a big "X" over this. The drawing next to it is smiling Ikea Blob Guy with the intact rectangle on a carpet, and no "X". Obviously, these are supposed to be dos and don'ts, but I can't figure out the don't. Don't kick the corner of the box? Do not lay your Holy Ikea Product directly on the ground, as this angers Odin? Don't destroy Ikea products, unless Tyler Durden tells you to? This is only the third Ikea thing I've ever assembled, so I dunno if IBG has this cryptic admonition in ALL the assembly instructions, but I'm sure curious as to what it means.



* I don't know why I've decided IBG speaks like Dr. Bronner, but he does. At least in my world.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sdn
2006-01-04 10:03 am (UTC)
the Ikea Blob Guy has the word balloon where he's saying "Flat Head Screwdriver! Philips Screwdriver! Assemble! Assemble! OK!"

thank you for my first laugh of the day.
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[User Picture]From: lara7
2006-01-04 06:59 pm (UTC)

Re: i know the guy of which you speak

Heh! I have an "expedit" too- aka "the record shelf". It was the first ikea thing I ever assembled.

and then when I bought the house and moved out of the apt, I got to DISASSEMBLE it. NO FUN. But it would have never made the corners of the stairs.

Do you use Expedit for your vinyl ?
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-01-05 10:53 am (UTC)

Re: i know the guy of which you speak

i do not, but it is the perfect size for records.

in my new apt., i have very limited closet/storage space. so i bought the 5X5 expidit in the dark wood to serve as a shelve-all. so mine has alternating cubbyholes of books, tsotskes, sheets, purses, scarves and hats, and on top is a row of framed photographs. the drummer in our band has the same one in the birch wood, and they have records in theirs. both of us have realized that it's gonna be a pain in the ass to take that thing apart when we move because there's no other way it'll make it out. either that or leave it there.
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[User Picture]From: emmycantbemeeko
2006-01-04 06:17 pm (UTC)
Assemble your furniture on a padded surface, so you don't drop it and dent the corner?

I don't know. IKEA instructions mystify me.
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[User Picture]From: brassratgirl
2006-01-05 01:29 am (UTC)
I don't know why I've decided IBG speaks like Dr. Bronner, but he does. At least in my world.

ha! two icons of my world, together at last.

I think it means assemble on padded floor so when you drop the shelf backing midway through assembling, as you invariably will, you only hurt your toes and not the shelf?
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