Honestly--do you think it's a good idea to keep him?

10 months old? Welcome to obedience school, a penned in puppy area, and designated chew toys.

You and your dog need help. Go get it. And good luck!

The sock, the slipper, and the remote all smell strongly of you. (Hand oil that comes out through the fingerprints carries a very distinctive scent; Labs, especially, are notorious for swallowing their owner's remotes. You may want to get a chew toy-- something resiliant rather than hard-- and sleep with it for a couple nights before giving it to him. Dogs that like remotes usually like rubber hedgehog, same nubbly feel.

One of the best chew toys is a Kong. It showed up on your dog-toys/sex-toys test. It's made of resiliant, dense rubber and shaped like the body of the Michilian Tire mascot, and it's hollow. A good swathe of peanut butter up the inside, and the average dog is fascinated. Kongs last ages compared to other chew toys, and they are readily availible.

(www.smileydog.com carries them. It's a small business that delivers select supplies to local homes; I think you should be in their extended delivery area. They have a good reputation for customer service.)

The paper and firewood are a textural exploration thing... chewing up sticks is probably okay until he starts swallowing.

It's all normal! Like acne!

I will get him something that can be made to smell like me tomorrow. I wonder if I can fondle his nylabone in the interim and make that count.

If it makes you feel any better, my coworker complained today that his dog has been eating the walls. And not just gnawing on the corners - but somehow digging into the flat surface of the drywall.

- Cooper