|the deal breaker revisited.
||[Jun. 16th, 2004|01:49 am]
Hypothetically, lets say you met someone via LJ, a personal ad, or a pal who said "I have the perfect person for you". You have enough information (maybe you've emailed each other) to be at least interested in meeting or getting to know them. While you're getting to know them, what might constitute BY ITSELF an automatic "no thanks"? |
The ones I picked in my poll are ones that I'd heard about or experienced; they may not be the "best" examples. For the purposes of this poll, assume that you like enough about them to continue to consider a romantic relationship with them, but the thing(s) you checked is enough on its own to quell your interest. You can check more than one, but they have to stand alone: If you'd date someone with kids or a vegan or a Republican, but not someone who's a vegan Republican with kids, you shouldn't check any of these.
For you, which of the following is reason BY ITSELF to reject someone as a potential romantic partner? (check all that apply)
very different religious beliefs than you
very different political beliefs than you
geography (for example, long distance dating)
bad breath and/or body scent
height differences (not tall enough, too tall, etc)
income (too much/too little)
body features (large/tiny penis, large/tiny breasts, etc)
don't like their friends
drinking/smoking/drug use different from yours
none of these are reasons to automatically reject someone as a romantic partner.
I think that the religious beliefs and the politics are real dealbreakers for me. I think that anyone who is strongly religious, or fanatically anti-religious would turn me off quickly.
I'm not afraid to admit that I wouldn't date a woman who looked or smelled bad, and weight in either extreme can be an issue, but if you ask me what "overweight" is, I can only say that I know it when I see it, and that too many women think that they are too fat to be attractive, when most of them are in fact really really hot. Only one woman who I have ever seen naked did not think she was fat, and that was the gaunt woman with fangs. Every other woman thought herself to be fat, including one who was practically as gaunt as the fanged chick. I didn't think any of them were, even the ones who had a more womanly figure.
Things that I did not check that I may have in the past:
Kids - Okay, I still would not seriously, long-term style date a woman who wanted kids, or possibly even one who has them already, but it would not be a dealbreaker for a casual, fun relationship.
alchohol/smoking/drugs - I'm not into any of the above, but as time goes on I care less about whether a woman is or not as long as she isn't seriously addicted, and as long as it doesn't interfere significantly with our relationship. I guess I've just dated entirely too many lushes and potheads lately. ;p Cigs would still be a huge turnoff if she insisted on smoking in my presence frequently. I have dated smokers who can control their desire to take a puff, and it wasn't so bad, but I think I have something else I'd rather them smoke than a cigarrette.
I'm not fat! just sayin'
seriously, that one bugs me too. "fat" to me means "seriously overweight" not "got a couple of extra pounds". I may not currently be at my ideal body weight, but I'm definitely within one standard deviation from it, which makes me pretty happy. I have never been fat and have never called myself that.
Yeah, and if all those icons and pics are recent then I have to concur.
Heh, some people who are seriously overweight use "a couple of extra pounds" as a euphemism for their state of being, thus muddying the waters of clarity even further.
Thinking back on that one rather thin woman who thought herself to be fat, perhaps she has some justification considering that in her high school pictures, she really was seriously overweight. Even I still struggle with that legacy of skewed self-perception sometimes... but she lost *all* her wieght while I still have just a little left that I'm too computerized to bother toning up. However, because this woman was blessed with a nice curvy figure, she still thinks it makes her fat. Meh.
2004-06-17 03:57 am (UTC)
Oh, almost forgot...
How could I forget "long distance?" I can't see myself doing that again unless all of the following were true:
a) She's not scared to meet in person.
b) She comes to me, not the other way around.
c) She doesn't expect any sort of emotional or sexual monogamy from me while distances remain long. ('cause I'm never expecting such things from a woman ever again)
d) She understands that unless she moves to my local area, I will not persue her with any seriousness beyond flirtation.
e) I've totally lost my mind.