January 18th, 2004


Some people should not breed, reason 145:


"A name that seems to have jumped straight from the big screen into cribs in 2002 was Trinity. One hundred and nine baby girls in Washington were named Trinity, presumably after the butt-kicking character in "The Matrix" trilogy."

I decided to see if Washingtonians were dumber than the nation at large, so I went to the Social Security site, http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/, where they track baby names of newly registered infants :

Popularity of the name Trinity
Popularity over years 1991-2002
Year of birth    Rank
2002             70
2001             67
2000             74
1999             216
1998             555
1997             547
1996             687
1995             683
1994             821
1993             951

Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth. A correlation between the popularity of the name and being knocked up in or after 1999 (when Matrix 1 was released) is noticeable.

Further checking states that 4335 American girls have been saddled with this moniker in 2002, which is makes this name less popular than Aaliyah (4754), Makayla (5408) and the cheeselike "Brianna" (11384).

An aside: "Lara" currently ranks 584th, and it seems to have the same level of popularity over the last 12 years, "Tomb Raider" not being an apparent influence on impressionable parents.

Names on the list that, if you give them to your children, even adults will tease them (or stuff dollars in their g-strings):

Osbaldo (male, rank 991)
Devante (male, rank 971)
Colt (male, rank 867)
Stone (male, rank 844)
Blaze (male, rank 814)
Maverick (male, rank 813)
Keanu (male, rank 790)

Citlali (female, rank 973)
Baby (female, rank 986, or male, rank 811)
Journey (female, rank 948)
Unique (female, rank 932)
Yessenia (female, rank 907)
Princess (female, rank 854)
Lexus (female, rank 766)

The "Learn to spell, dammit" wing:
Xzavier, Abigayle, Abbigail, Alexzander, Keven, Destini, Destinee, Ezequiel, Cheyanne, Madisyn, Zackery, Emely, Jaxon, Jackeline, Jonatan, Sabastian, Stephon, Zain, Eliezer, Jazmyne

I shudder to think what the UNPOPULAR names are, if 222 baby girls got named "Nyasia" last year.

Parents, try this simple test before you name your kid something fanciful:

"Three-term U.S. Senator Braelyn Makendra Graham (D-Florida) is gearing up for a fierce fight going in to the New Hampshire primary."

"OPEC's decision to keep production capped at 25.4 million barrels a day was a wise move, says economist Ashlan Aydan Richardson."

"The members of the 2002 Pulitzer Prize Board included Louis D. Boccardi, president and CEO of the Associated Press; Tom Goldstein, dean of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism; and Wall Street Journal managing editor Irelyn Knoah Steiger."


"Now appearing at the Pink Pussycat, is the sultry Diana Goodman"