October 25th, 2003


movie review: The Returner

It was 1/6 The Matrix, 1/6 E.T., 1/3 Terminator, and 1/3 the weird feeling you get when a Japanese actor has hair just like Jim Jarmusch.

Seriously though, it was totally derivative, but it had nice explosions 'n' fighting and was a nice mindless Friday night movie. However, if the crowd attending the 7pm Friday show was any indication, it's doing Gigli-level box office, so it will probably leave theatres real soon.

Saw Kill Bill last week, and am inclined to agree with Ivan's theory that the reason for the Part 1/part 2 gimmick is that the film was 1) way too fuckin' long for QT to edit into something releasable by the promised October 2003 date 2) Not entirely finished, so the part 1 thing is a mere stalling technique.

Also, in retrospect, while I enjoyed Jackie Brown when I saw it (and I only saw it once), it was way too long for a caper film and should have had 20-30 minutes cut out. Kill Bill was 111 minutes, Jackie Brown was 151 minutes. Both would have been better films if each had the run time of the other (IMHO).

(pseudo-spoiler): I'm not too afraid of things that are unlikely to happen to me that are regular film plot devices; when I see someone being buried alive or thrown into a pit of snakes or insects or a soon-to-be capped well, it does not make me shiver and go "Great, a new thing to give me the creeps and end up in my nightmares". However, thanks to the "Buck" hospital scene in Kill Bill, I now have a new irrational fear that will most likely plague me any time I have to be knocked out for any medical (or dental) procedure. I wonder if you can put a clause addressing such a concern into a Living Will...