August 6th, 2003

menaked

On the ability of Americans to reinvent themselves

(I'm guessing orobouros and oninochuck will be most amused by this, assuming they didn't know already)

Former porn stars have 3 career avenues after they're no longer able to act in adult films:
1) Become a director
2) Overdose, commit suicide, or otherwise die tragically
3) Change your name and get a straight career

It's reasonably well-known that Deep Throat star Harry Reems changed his name back to Herbert Streicher, got married, got Methodism, and sells real estate in Park City, Utah (Google it if you like).

But what of explotation powerhouse Dyanne Thorne? While not a porn star, she is known, when she's known at all, for her breakthrough role as Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS, in the 1974 film of the same name. Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS is your basic "sadistic Nazi bitch in charge of the death camps has sex with men and then castrates them if they can't satisfy her and is, in the end, even too vile for her fellow Nazis to stomach" flick, and Ilsa was such a popular character with seventies Times Square audiences that she returned for 2 (or 3, depending if you count the retitled "Ilsa the Wicked Warden") sequels, despite having been pretty definitively killed by the Allies liberating the camps at the end of the first film. According to IMDB, Dyanne made only 3 films after the last Ilsa film, and the last one stars James Belushi and John Ritter, so I'm guessing its no Nude for Satan.

So it turns out, Dyanne married one of her costars from Ilsa, the Wicked Warden, took his last name, and eventually opened a Las Vegas wedding service. I find the photo of Mrs Thorne-Maurer a little scary in a "too many botox injections" way, but after all, she's over 70 now.

Only in America* could a woman go from being the sadistic Ilsa to being a non-denominational ordained minister, complete with a headset-mic'ed musical keyboard accompanist. You've gotta love this place sometimes.

*or perhaps Canada
  • Current Mood
    Teutonic
pants

dear Hollywood:

Was it REALLY necessary to remake The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Hasn't the franchise already been milked to death by all the sequels? Do you always have to ruin everything by not leaving well enough alone (aka the "Shaft" remake, the "Psycho" remake, etc)?

Well, no matter; Michael "Pearl Harbor" Bay produced it, and some guy whose only other IMDB credits are Janet Jackson and Faith No More videos directed it, so I'm sure it will be fabulous. Especially with the star of "Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows" in the cast.

argh.