7am. The phone rings.
Me: (stumbles out of bed) Hello?
Mom: Hi sweetie, it's me!
Me: Is everything okay?
Mom: oh yes. I didn't talk to you on Sunday since you weren't home, so I figured I'd call you before work.
Me: Mom, it's 7am here*. I was asleep. It's still DARK outside!
Mom: Well, don't you work at 9am?
Me: yeah, but I don't wake up til 7:45 or 8am. When the phone woke me up, I thought someone had died or something terrible had happened.
Mom: No, I just wanted to find out about that turntable you wanted for your birthday, and since I didn't talk to you Sunday...
Me: ..you thought, I know, I'll call her 2 hours before work, because even though she hates getting up in the morning, doesn't put on makeup, make a lunch, get kids to school or otherwise need lots of time to prepare for work, I'm sure she'll be awake and chipper. And once she stops panicking after being awoke by a phone call at the crack of dawn, I'm sure the first thing my daughter will want to do is dig up the model numbers/prices of electronic equipment.
Okay, I didn't say that last part. I told mom, I'll email you tonight, and then said goodbye. She knows I won't call her on Mondays or Tuesdays, because I don't get off work till 9pm (11pm her time), making it, ironically, too late to call, so when I didn't call Wednesday, mom decided to intercept me "before I left for work". I went back to bed for the 40 minutes of blissful sleep. Then I came to work and taught felon class.
The further irony is that since I live about 12 blocks from work, I could probably wake up as late as 8:15-8:30 and still have time to shower and get to work on time. Having to get up two hours before work is a burden I thankfully left behind in the bay area.
I'm just laughing that in 33 years, mom hasn't grasped the idea that her daughter will milk every precious drop of sleep from the morning, and will fight all attempts to interrupt said slumber, even if said interruption results in gifts of consumer electronics.
I don't think even telemarketers are allowed to call at 7am. Oh, the humanity!
Note to friends: You may call me at any time, day or night, if you are in trouble, despondent, under arrest, need a shoulder to cry on, etc. But anyone who phones before 8am for anything that isn't a crisis and could be answered with "I'll email you a link about that" is gonna get a major verbal smackdown (unless, of course, they gave birth to me. I'm not that ungracious.)
*where mom lives it is 9am