November 25th, 2002

sc lara

the tale of No-shoes Patty

And now, a story from my college days:

There was a notorious woman at my college nicknamed "No-shoes Patty". She was tall, thin, and had those steel-grayish eyes that suggested sociopathy. She never wore shoes, ever, even when walking down punk-rock Chimes Street, which housed several bars, and was always peppered with shards of broken glass from smashed beer bottles and who knows what kind of pathogens from the gutterpunks pissing and puking in the alley. Clearly, anyone who would walk barefoot on Chimes was either insane, or a bad-ass. Patty may have been the former, but she was certainly the latter.

Patty's reputation was frightening. I only knew her as a friend of my friend Jennifer, but even I'd heard tales of how she had humiliated men who had crossed her. In some cases, "crossing" her was achieved by merely speaking to her. She had the reputation for being sexually outlandish, not only promiscuous, but just plain sick. The tales were so outlandish that they couldn't possibly be true, yet full of details that were almost too sick for anyone to come up with unaided.

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