July 20th, 2002

pants

I am Jack's boring domestic issues.

Spent much of the afternoon and evening working on the artcar, and moving my bedroom.

My apartment is huge. No lie. It should be, as I'm paying too much for it. Not counting kitchen bathroom, and hallways, I have 4 rooms. 2 are ostensibly bedrooms, 1 is a living room, 1 is a dining room. For reasons I'm not sure I can explain, I made the smaller bedroom "my bedroom" and the large bedroom "the place I stash all the stuff I can't figure out what to do with". I decided I should reverse these, for three main reasons:

1) it seemed weird to make the big roomy room a storage area.
2) the big roomy room has screens on the windows, the old bedroom does not. Given the heat we've been having, plus Won't's inclination to walk out on the ledge thru the window and scare me by disappearing from the apt., screens are a good thing.
3) the old bedroom looks out over a car dealership, which uses incredibly bright lights to showcase their incredible deals. These lights seem to stay on until the sun comes up, making it brighter in my room than I like.

So I've been switching rooms. Whilst moving stuff around, I've found dozens of cat-hair dust bunnies and numerous misplaced "shakey mice" that the cat had lost. The dust bunnies make me more convinced that cat owners really ought to live in carpeted homes. Hardwood floors look cool, but it's a pain to move a box one inch and be overcome by all the stored hair that's been waiting for release.

In other boring news:
I've dyed my hair a uniform shade of auburn. Assuming the prior blonde doesn't poke thru after a few shampoos, I no longer have pink hair.

Sunday there's an artcar thingy in Tacoma. If you happen to be in the neighborhood, come say hi
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pants

My new favorite litter-ary site

http://www.1stbooks.com/

this is basically a Vanity Press site, that will "publish" your book electronically or print-on-demand for $399-598 upfront. If you want them to advertise or attempt to market your book, there are extra fees ($300-750) for that. Who would be desperate enough to go this route rather than doing a DIY self-publishing thing?

Very Bad Writers, that's who.

The 19 year old author of "The A-Sex Bunny" includes, as part of his author's bio, a will stating he wants to be buried with journaling materials.

Who wouldn't want to read about "The Adventures of Fred Iguana Iguana" ? (yes, I typed that correctly).

Do you know the "101 Reasons I Am too Good for American Males" (Reason 82. You lack a cute little foreign accent.  Reason 101. We despise you because you haven't created utopia.)?

I've read the summary for  "Coming out of the Dark, The Homosexual Lie & 'She is a He' Clarification guide " and I still don't know what it's about.

And I didn't even look at the poetry, which is typically the most God-awful genre of all unpublished or self-published work.

But the crown jewel thus far, and how I came to be aware of  this site, is from a local author who wants my library to buy his book. I'm not even sure if it's supposed to be fiction or memoir.

"The Adopted Daughter of Reverend Steppingwolfe with The Existence of Poetry : My Story With a Group of Poems"  By Mr. Bobby R. Wilson

I urge you to log on to http://www.1stbooks.com/ and read about this book. I'd provide a URL, but it'd be 3 lines long and most likely be mangled and unclickable by the time this is posted. Just trust me on this.

Some details about this book (no doubt blurbed by the author):

This double manuscript details the past life of this affluent and renowned preacher by the name of Calvin C. Steppingwolfe. He had planned on marrying his adopted daughter, Venice McClaim, because her pulchritudinous appearance brought her great fame; until one Sunday morning a stranger drove into their world, causing Venice to fall in love with him.

This stranger’s name was Mack James. He told Venice the truth about her adopted father’s past life, serving as a pimp, and how one of his ladies of the street went astray on him, causing him casualty to interfere with his pimping skill.

....The death of Nessie filled Steppingwolfe with so much remorse and grief, he began to preach while walking up and down the street influencing people.

...he inherited a town and affluent fame as a preacher.

.... it tore this place apart, and the spirit of this preacher haunted these people involved, until each
deceased.

..... From the beginning to the end, the author of this book recommends it to be read throughout its
entirety.

And what about the author, Mr. Bobby R. Wilson:?

...As a teenager, he began to indulge with different girls, astounding their world.

After joining the military, his outlook on life made him wise, touring the world with the U.S. Navy, gave him the experience he needed to enhance his mentality, indulging with women of different nationalities. He was there to please them sexually.

After his military experience, he began to seek intellectual knowledge, so he enrolled in college. ....
When it comes to the existence of people, he could be a teacher, but writing words to read is his expertise.

Indeed. Writing words to read is his expertise. Reading from the beginning to the end, to be read throughout its entirety is my expertise.