June 9th, 2002

pants

What if we all got jobs and went to bed before dawn?

As an experiment, for the rest of the month, I will attempt to use a semi-pertinent Stephin Merritt song title or lyric for all LJ subject headings.

So, jobs. Remember that point in youth where you were going to be an astronaut, ballerina, fairy princess, or archeologist when you grew up? Well, I don't either, really, but the point is, it's part of our culture that little kids have fanciful job aspirations, and good parents never temper this with realism by saying "NASA is very competitive- you'll have to start studying calculus in 5th grade if you want a leg up on the other astronaut hopefuls". You outgrow the desire to be a ballet-dancing firefighting Olympic sprinter before the realism hits you that it's unlikely it'd work out due to physical limitations or the fact that the job market is pretty tight for fairy princesses.

So I was told yesterday "You'd make a horrible leather dominatrix". This was in response to my attempts to stop the cats from climbing on the stereo (Shockie) and screaming for food whenever I walk into the kitchen (Won't) by disciplining them with a squirt in the face with a watergun. I'm just not strict enough and consistent enough with the discipline, and I sometimes feel bad punishing an animal that may not be smart enough to understand why I'm doing it. Thus, the observation is likely correct that a career change to pro-domination would be unwise. Not to mention it's never been something I've -wanted- to do.

But a tiny part of me felt like a little kid being told "You'll never be a princess, as single members of the world's Royal families aren't in the habit of marrying the daughters of middle-class Americans from the Deep South". Yes, it's true. Yes, it's being realistic. But sometimes it's fun to have the fantasy that you -could- be or do anything if you really wanted it enough.

Careers I've wanted in the past that I'm probably not qualified for, but think I'd enjoy:
1) tattoo artist
2) "rat wrangler" for movies and TV (but I refuse to handle insects)
3) cultural pundit
4) the person who decides what color schemes Victorian houses are to be painted in when they get restored
5) pirate queen

Careers I've never, ever wanted:
1) crack whore
2) 18 to 19th century missionary (fear of being eaten by cannibals)
3) PE teacher
4) Gangsta rapper
5) Clown wrangler