December 29th, 2001


In which I make grand pronouncements about men and gender roles

It's time for a sweeping broad generalization that nonetheless I hold to be gospel truth.

When you meet a person and you're trying to decide if they're interesting or not, one of the first questions after "what's your occupation?" is something along the lines of "What do you do for fun/what are your hobbies?". There are 3 classes of hobbies:

1) ones you both share
2) ones the other person is into, you aren't, but you still think it's cool that someone is into that (examples: organic gardening, sewing, learning another language, painting, kayaking, playing the bassoon)
3) ones the other person is into, you aren't, and it is so NOT COOL that someone is into it (examples: Civil-war re-inacting, fantasy baseball leagues, dressing yard geese in specialty outfits*, barbershop quartet singing).

*It's a midwest thing.

In thinking about this I've come to the conclusion that there are two hobbies that ALL men** have in common. Men will vary in their enthusiasm for these two things, degree to which they still engage in them, and ability to be interested in other things, but I challenge you to find a guy out there born after 1965 that this doesn't apply to:

**Excluding the Amish and others way outside the mainstream, of course.

Every American man's hobbies include:
1) masturbation
2) gaming (ie D&d, Quake, LARPing, Everquest, gambling)

even those who claim not to do either now (yeah, right) have done quite a bit of each in the past. Any man who hasn't jerked off or played Quake (or whatever) in the last year is probably a chick in disguise.

The corollary to this rule:

Women will accept a man's enthusiasm for one or the other, but not both. If she's accepting of your porn collection, she will make fun of your lead miniatures.Mary , on the other hand, would probably see nothing weird about a weekend long RPG where no one leaves the house until the campaign is over.

Prove me wrong. I dare ya.

And no, this isn't in response to anyone or anything in particular. Just something I was musing on.