September 21st, 2001


go read lemur's last post

since I have no way of knowing who reads which LJ, my apologies to those who've already read this..

lemur posted on 9/21 a few Headlines the Onion Should Have Done This Week, and a few have been added, but I was so pleased with my contribution, I thought I'd post it here, too:

"Age" of "Irony" "over", says Time Magazine if you don't get the reference

remember kids, if we give up our cynicism, then the terrorists have won.
  • Current Music
    Flying Luttenbachers- Constructive Destruction

today at the CATF

So I went to the Columbus AIDS Task Force office today for their free HIV testing; it's been 6 months, and I'm trying to be a responsible person and get tested every 6 months even though I don't think I have anything to worry about. I generally keep to myself in places like this; chances are there are people in the waiting room that are worried or upset, and idle conversation might be unwelcome. there was a woman in the waiting room saying goodbye to a counseler, and it was obvious from their demeanor that the woman was a client. I buried my nose in my book and tried to tune out, so the woman could have at least the illusion of privacy.

So I was surprised when the guy who was ahead of me for testing came back into the waiting room and addressed me directly. (I'd made no eye contact or conversation with him when we were both waiting). "He's pretty cute" he said, refering to the dept. of health dude that was doing the testing. "Too bad he's straight". I didn't know what to say to that, so I just said airily, "oh well, it takes all kinds".

But then of course I started wondering about who was on the other end of the door. Would he be only cute if you were a non-descript middle aged gay man (MAGM) like the guy proclaiming said health worker's cuteness? Would he be a total Johnnie, and I'd be so smitten I'd forget that he was sticking me with a needle instead of with....anyway....

Turns out that allegedly cute Dept of health worker is a young all American blonde, ex-military but still has regulation haircut, wearing boring khakis and polo shirt. Except for the fact that he was very nice and didn't say anything negative about the government, he resembled Tim McVeigh. Not my type at all, and was surprised the MAGM thought he was hott.

But I hope I never get a health care worker who's also a Johnnie, because you've totally wrecked any chance by the end of the Q&A period where they try to determine your risk factors for their public health stats by asking you about all the stuff you've done since 1978. Even if your answers don't disqualify his interest and there's no prohibition against exchanging phone numbers once you've gotten your results and are no longer a "client", I can't imagine a first date with someone who knows that much about your orifices and what has or hasn't been in them. It also made me wonder, re: "too bad he's straight", if MAGM is in the habit of trying to pick up health workers at the CATF: "Oh good, I'm negative. wanna have coffee?"

The only other intersting thing to happen involved a garage sale, but my hands are carping (a word which here means "feeling as if they suffered from carpal tunnel syndrome or another RSI") and I'm hungry, so it's Dube time.
  • Current Music
    Mag Fields "69 love songs"