So someone tried to steal my car from in front of my house last night, after 10pm when I got home from work. They tore all of the plastic off the column and did something to screw with the steering wheel adjustment/alignment.
Just in case the absurdity hasn't registered, let me state again: Someone tried to steal MY car.
So now it's in the shop, and I may have to have the entire steering column replaced. oh joy.