Just me. (lara7) wrote,
Just me.

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More songs about bearcubs and lube...

Okay, first I discovered the perplexing Safeway house brand lube. Then at some point, oneevlktty mentioned seeing lube in a Honey Bear dispenser, which I didn't see, but sounded nicely perverse.

so I must have mentioned both of those anecdotes to skypizza, because a few weeks later, he made this for me:

Yes, they are really filled with lube, albeit watered down a bit. His explanation for the box set was "Well, since you're a collector type, I couldn't make just one".

The box sets logo:


I realize the labels are blurry, but I'm too tired to retake the photos. the labels read:

Barenaked Blueberry- Does not contain Bear or Blueberry.
Scintillating Strawberry- Not a source of protein. Do not use on automobiles.
Titillating Tangerine - Toxic! Do not Eat! Tastes Great on Salads!
Lascivious Lime- Use as a contraceptive. Dilute! Dilute! Ok!*

To answer the questions I most anticipate:

1) Yes, I imagine the food coloring would stain skin and fabric, at least temporarily.
2) Yes, that would be pretty funny.
3) As a matter of fact, the contents are Safeway lube.
4) Not so much ironic, as just appropriate.
5) Besides the obvious sentimental reason for not using the contents, see #1.
6) Yes, it will be difficult to make something equally worthy for him. But I'm working on it.

*Follow this link if you have no idea why that's funny. Do a find for the word "lemon" to jump right to the contraception part.

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