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In another month, this story will be on Law and Order, with a more gruesome ending: - The inexplicable charisma of the rival [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Just me.

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In another month, this story will be on Law and Order, with a more gruesome ending: [Mar. 22nd, 2005|03:14 pm]
Just me.
I am home sick today, which is why I am home to answer the knock on my door at 2:45pm.

Tooth-deficient man, straight out of central casting for the part of "sociopathic hillbilly" on my porch, another guy 20 feet away on sidewalk with lawnmower. Toothless points to the left and says "that lady down there said you might need your lawn mowed?". I politely declined and said I mowed my own lawn (which is true, and I just did it last week, though it grew a bit after the rain and could probably use it again in a few days), and they left, but what I wanted to say was:

"you know, usually I wouldn't do business with scary-looking itinerant lawnmowers, especially when I am home alone sick and there are 2 of you, 1 of me, and most of my neighbors are at work right now, but since my good friend and neighbor "that lady down there" who knows me so well (even though she apparently forgot I mow my own lawn) suggests that I contract your services, I shall."

As I was typing this, it occurred to me: Who would go door to door on any day other than Saturday or Sunday offering to mow lawns in a neighborhood where most people work during the day? Also, we had a bunch of rain saturday and sunday; anyone who's ever mowed wet grass knows it's hard to do, and often chokes the mower; not really the best time to drum up business. I got suspicious, but that may be just because I've seen "Deliverance" and mullets and bad teeth make me think "casing for burglary" rather than "entrepreneur with a lawnmower...and a vision".

So I called the police, who are sending a patrol car. We'll see if they find the guys, if they're legit, or if I'm over-reacting. Even if they are legit, their method (no one home; wet grass) is pretty dumb. Even if I didn't mow my own grass, I'd be pretty wary of opening the door to pay a stranger when I know neither of my immediate neighbors are home and could not hear my screams, which I can't make anyway, since I'm hoarse and coughing up yuck from my lungs.

edit: how about a poll?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: lemur68
2005-03-23 01:35 am (UTC)
They're probably counting on hitting the gullible elderly, such as those who live next door....

Funny, just yesterday I had a guy come up to me asking for change right in front of my place. In four years I've been here that's the first time that's ever happened.
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[User Picture]From: repoman
2005-03-23 04:23 am (UTC)
I don't know if I would call, but thats me. Plus, ya figure if they're legit the cops will let them be on their way...
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[User Picture]From: whod81
2005-03-23 07:35 am (UTC)
Man I got the best mowing the lawn story.

I lived in this squat on Maynard. And the lawn was SUPER HUGE. This kid comes up to the door and asks if I need the lawn mowed. I'm just like "not really. looks fine." he looks at it and is like "are you serious?" ... i'm like "how much?" .. "i'll do it for $10".

anyways i'm like OK. he gets to work. he can't get his mower to start and says he needs to go get gasoline. well we had a gas can of gas so I just filled his mower up for him. away he goes... every like 2 feet his mower DIES. he gets it to start again.. it dies 3 feet later...etc...etc...

the whole while he's talking ot himself all ganster style. like "werd what the fuck i'm gonna cap you mower, werd." and this kid is probably 12 years old. anyways at some point i gotta take a shower and he's like 1/3 through the lawn. i'm like "here the $10 i'll give you another $10 when i get out of the shower."... and he's talking about how him and his friend found the lawn mower in the alley and his friend pussied out, but HE knew he could make money with it.

i'm just sort of "Whatever" and wasn't too suprsied that when i got out of the shower no more of the lawn was done and the kid had ditched the entire thing... (taking his stolen lawn mower with him).
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