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Meet my new boyfriend* - The inexplicable charisma of the rival [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Meet my new boyfriend* [Mar. 10th, 2004|11:45 pm]
Just me.
*uh, kidding.

This has already made the rounds, but it's just too good not to share.

Bill has a plan : He wants to find "1 - 7 women to have 1 - 20 children by me". If you like the plan, you can live with Bill, or away from Bill, or a little of each. He mainly wants to spawn, er, "be prolific", but he doesn't want to get married. The problems with meeting women who are into this have led him to create the site.

He stresses that he's not a radical, even though he's suggesting a polygamous family model and also likes the arranged marriage model of breeding: When the children reach 18 years of age, I would like for each of them to have 2 children with a mate selected by me.. While Bill admits his photo "probably flatters me a bit", he does have a B.A., owns his home and a "lawn care business", and has never had a cavity!

Now, why a man who looks like Iggy Pop on a bad day, who mows lawns for a living and is (by his own admission) quite poor would think himself a candidate for siring up to 20 offspring is a question I'll leave to the sociobiologists. But I find it fascinating how much thought he's given this despite the unlikely odds that he'll meet anyone via this method. Maybe after you've seen his erotic side(almost worksafe, though not pretty) you'll be compelled to email him. According to his "news" update this week, he's had 323,879 Total Visits to his Site Since November, 2003, and 26 Interested Email Inquiries out of that, which is probably a better success ratio than your average penis enlarging/weight loss spam gets.

Now the other thing is that one of the places I saw Bill's site mentioned made the suggestion:
"Maybe we could introduce him to Mary Romantic", who arrived on the web singles scene around the same time as the infamous Peter Pan.

But note that the above Mary Romantic site is a mirror; her original site is being squatted by something that threw up a bunch of popups when I typed it in. Mary says about her singleness: Sometimes, even if a web page is still accessible, its content is no longer relevant. That's not the case here. If you read my pages with the thought of calling me when you're through, I don't want you to have to wonder whether I'm still searching for the love of my life. I am. If my situation changed, I'd remove my site or revise my pages.

Did Mary finally find her dream guy that doesn't masturbate and doesn't mind that she's been married 3 times and has 2 grown daughters, and that's why she took her site down?

If so, I think there's hope for all of us...
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: lemur68
2004-03-10 11:56 pm (UTC)
Hah, I immediately thought of Mary Romantic even before I got that far down the entry....
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rwx
2004-03-11 07:09 am (UTC)
I think he's read Heinlein too much.

--Corprew
(Reply) (Thread)
From: ex_futch238
2004-03-11 09:43 am (UTC)
Would you define "at all" as "too much"?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: qvalentine
2004-03-11 09:32 am (UTC)
If this guy is a performance artist he'd be the best damn one I've ever seen. Maybe he should be looking specifically for Linda Montanos or other art/life peeps.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: ex_futch238
2004-03-11 09:42 am (UTC)

mormon or moron, or are they the same

My, is that ever a flattering photo. I think I used to work in a restaurant where that guy was the dishwasher.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kickmule
2004-03-11 11:17 am (UTC)
From a sociobiological perspective, we'd call this an unsuccessful mating strategy. Among human beings, successful mating strategies include: commanding greater material resources than rivals, caring for offspring, being nice to prospective mates, cheating on mates, and jealously guarding mates to ensure paternity of one's mate's offspring.

Mr. Sperm Donor here doesn't look like the rich nice guy who tends to have kids who reach reproductive age. That's my analysis, anyway.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: holyoutlaw
2004-03-11 12:38 pm (UTC)
Maybe you should introduce them to each other.

At MS once, there was a flyer on the bulletin board fom a guy selling his hot rod. It was totally a gearhead customization. There was also a flyer from a woman -- I don't remember what she was selling, but her flyer was as stereotypically hetero-femme as his was hetero-macho. I tried talking Jane into calling HIM and saying she was interested in his car, and leaving the woman's number; and I was going to call HER and say I was interested in her stuff, and leaving HIS number. But she wouldn't.
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From: ex_agentcoo
2004-03-11 10:26 pm (UTC)
> While Bill admits his photo "probably flatters me a bit"

*click*

"Aaaaagggggghhhhh!!!"

> Maybe after you've seen his erotic side(almost worksafe,
> though not pretty) you'll be compelled to email him.

*click*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!"

- Cooper
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dirtylibrarian
2004-03-13 09:48 am (UTC)
Creeeeepy!
(Reply) (Thread)